LAST BLOG BEFORE SEM 7 START~

        Today is the last day of my sem break before Y4S1 starts. The feeling right now is quite weird...Time flies...To be honest, I am still not ready to start the new semester, and it will be hectic after the new semester starts.  It is also the final year of my 4 years degree of study, and the final year's project is waiting for me.......Haih...

        Actually, I just had one week to rest after finishing the internship last week. I don't know why I am so tired these few days. My routine is just to sleep, eat, sleep and eat. I feel like I don't want to do anything at this moment. No motivation, no power, no mood and no spirit at all. It is just like all the energy in my body is exhausted. 

        In other words, I just escaped reality and didn't want to face the fact and truth. I am really a coward and useless, and I am wasting my time, my life and anything around me. I wanna get away from those negative feelings, seriously. But what should I do?？

        Hahahaha...Actually, there are many things that I can do. But it depends on my determination, perseverance, discipline and decision. We can't wait for the opportunity to come, but we have to create the chance ourselves. Ya...I know all of it, but I have to take action instead of just knowing the meaning of those sentences.

        It is kinda childish for me to say those things using this way. But it is totally okay for me because I just want to be myself and don't care how others think about me 😛 So that's all for today. It is a kinda relief after expressing my feeling here. Cheer up, Min Yue! Tomorrow will be a better day 😉

Special Semester - Internship Life

*LONG STORY*

        10 weeks of the internship ended a few days ago...It was a great experience to undergo my industrial training at Jabil Penang Plant 1. It is just one small part of the whole company from the pictures. The company was big and had a spacious parking place behind.

Outside the company

Outside the main lobby

I got my employee badge during the physical reporting day on 26/7/21.
My face looks ugly, so I need to cover it up.

        I still remember I just went to Penang on 17/7/21, but I went back to Teluk Intan on 19/7/21 for a vaccination appointment xD My vaccine appointment is on 21/7/21, and I decided to return to Penang right after my vaccine. It is because I need to attend to the company on 23/7/21. But HR called me and said the reporting date was changed to the following Monday, and I felt happy because I did not need to rush back to Penang.

        On the reporting day, I brought my laptop to the company and did not realise that I could not simply bring the laptop without applying for permission from the security. The security guard checked my bag during the check-out and found the laptop. Then he asked if this laptop belonged to who..."Do you know you cannot simply bring the laptop and blablabla...." Luckily, the security guard let me go because I was new and did not really know how the company's operation was.

        The next day, I was met with my supervisor, Shahrul, and he brought me to the cubicle. Then he introduced me to the test section manager, Jun Haw, and allocated me to sit at the place just beside my manager. I felt pretty surprised, and a bit stressed, hahaha. One of the engineers, called Dino, brought me to visit the production line and explained a lot of things about debugging / testing, how to use the devices, and so on. I know I felt very exhausted because of many new things that I had never seen in my life, and have to absorb all the info he shared with me. It was kinda stress. Now I only know those feelings are normal because when we get into a new place, we are sure we will feel insecure and cannot adapt it the environment and some more; I was alone and had no friends out there. 😟 

The gowning before entering the production line:

ESD smokes and selfie in the washroom 😝

Need to wear gloves on the production line

ESD shoes

        I still remember sitting in the pearl room with the big bosses. Sitting for a few minutes was like a few hours xD. I can feel that my heartbeat keeps beating very fast and thinking, when can I leave this room...hahaha. So, Suresh (assistant test manager - debug division) was assigned to follow the debug engineer, Hamidi (my trainer), to learn things from him. The first thing that he taught me was how to use the network analyzer. After that, I need to train the technicians to use it and apply it to their work cell. To be honest, I was feeling stressed at that time. Every time I went to the company, my mood was gloomy and nervous. (Because I still have not adapted it yet)

       After following my trainer for a few weeks, I started to get used to the environment and make new friends/colleagues. The first person that I talk with is the new worker, Firdaus. He is new here and has worked in Keysight previously. He did share me his experience and knowledge with me. I feel secure when I have someone to talk with.😆We also learned how to use the signal analyzer and simple programming.

        At PCA Bay 19, the first person that I got along with was the technician of debug team, which is under my trainer, called Siti. I always followed her, and she also taught me many things like how to use the tester to test the boards, troubleshoot the boards, chit-chat, and share her life with me.  

Siti and I. This photo was taken during my last day before we said goodbye.😢

        One of the debug technicians, called Iqbal, also is a nice person. I had followed him when Siti was under quarantine at home for 2 weeks. The first impression that I met him was this person looked cool and serious. 😂 That's why I did not dare to talk with him before that. He was well-patience when he taught me new things. He also brought me to the SRT room and showed me how to do the X-ray inspection. I was lucky that I was able to experience it.^^ He also explained to me steps by steps how to troubleshoot the failed boards. From that, I realised that debugging is not an easy job. It is full of challenges and takes time. Also, guide me on using the tester for testing other types of PCBAs. It was fun. He also shared with me his love story during his diploma.😆

     Apart from that, other technicians, engineers, and operators that I met were friendly. Ridzuan, the debug technician from another work cell, talked to me during the first meet. Ruzaini, the debug engineer from another work cell, shared the experience and provided suggestions about the working life after graduation. He had completed his degree in UKM a few years ago. Michael, debug engineer who is Filipino, always greeted me when he saw me whenever I was. He also shared and gave me suggestions that are beneficial to deciding what to do after graduation. Marlon, another debug engineer who also is Filipino, just sat behind me in the cubicle. He has helped me complete my report by providing me with the information. Andes, the Indonesian operator, we always talked to each other at the FVT station. She had told me that she could not sleep / insomnia when she worked at morning shift😆 BC and Wee, test engineers who always helped me throughout my internship. 

        On my last day, my manager treated me to eat Mcdonald's burger. I was kinda emotional on that day. Time flies, and I cannot believe it is my last day in Jabil. My supervisor came and had a talk with me before I left the company. I felt delighted when I could talk with him. Because my supervisor is very busy (he is the assistant test manager) and does not have time to speak with me. 

Rockin' BBQ Chicken Mac Value Meal

Marlon and I.

My supervisor and I. (We got to wear the KF95 mask right after this.）

        In a nutshell, I am happy that I have the opportunity to have my internship here. I would like to thank my trainer the most because he taught me many things and invited me to play badminton together (Unfortunately, the hiking plan has been cancelled). I did learn a lot of knowledge that I could not gain in University. What I knew the most was communication. Communication plays a key role when it comes to working, and it is because we need to deal with different people with different backgrounds. Everyone I met was friendly, kind, and helpful. Lastly, I hope everything is going well with their work, and stay safe! Hope we will meet one day! Bye, everyone and I will gonna miss you all.

*I did take photos with others, but those photos were taken in the production line, which is not allowed to post in public. Thus, I will keep them as memories. 😇

End of Week 12 and I...... :(

        After 12 weeks from my last blog and I am here again. It has happened so many things in these 12 weeks. Do you still remember my previous blog about going back to Malacca to start semester 6 ( Year 3 Sem 2)? But now I am at my lovely home, not in Malacca anymore. Why? Before the festival of Hari Raya, our government has allowed the university to give the students who want to go back to their hometowns to celebrate Hari Raya. And I am one of them who wants to go back even though I am not the Muslim who will celebrate Hari Raya, hahaha!

        Many students will be going back, including my housemates and my coursemates. And we have decided not to go back to Malacca anymore since we never need to go back to our faculty for the face-to-face lecture. The cases of covid-19 keep increasing and are now currently in MCO 3.0. Then you are sure curious why I go back Malacca during March......Our faculty has made an announcement and mentioned that the students who will be doing the IDP must come back to Malacca, and yes, we just followed the announcement to go back...We all felt like we got deceived. Why I will say so? It is because I really don't know I went back to Malacca for what.

        We just stay in our rented house and attend all the online classes like we did in our home. I think it is better to stay in our home because it can save money!!! In Malacca, I have to think about what I want to eat/cook, when I have to wash my clothes, etc.  But, I cannot deny that I can hang out with my friends because we stayed in the same rented house for 2 semesters and didn't meet each other. I also can play badminton with my friends, seniors, and lecturers and make new friends. All of them are so friendly.

    

     As you can see, I am a person who loves to play badminton very, very much!!! (*actually, I quite miss those friends who played badminton together in 2019. That was memorable and cannot be replaced :( )

        It was so many things I have been through in Malacca. But I can't speak out all one by one...It was too long to talk about it, hahaha! But I am glad I have such friendly housemates from another faculty. Two of them come from Ipoh, and all of us are Perakian xD I still remember one of them who called CaiNi is SHINee's fans!!!! Btw, her bias is Taemin, and my bias is all of the members ^^. She has invited me to watch the Taemin Beyond Live together. The entrance ticket almost costs RM200 ><. And that time is the last we interact with each other because she will be going back to her hometown with EnYi on Wednesday morning. 

       Okay~Now, I am currently in my sweet home, which has been a few weeks since 7 May. Time flies, and now it is Sunday, the last day of week 12. It still left 3 weeks to go before my final exam. As I feel, the time really passes so fast in one clip eye. I still have many things not yet settled, including my assignments and especially the IDP technical report. Even though our prototype is done but our technical report still progressing. Actually, we can accomplish the report early, but I am so lazy and procrastinate. I felt so sorry for my group leader because she has done many things, including software and hardware. And I felt I am so useless and don't know anything about it. Those feeling hit me so hard as time passed. I have been feeling very insecure and nervous recently. I am not wise, and all the things I did are not as good as my friends did. I also scored a bad result on the mid-term test. It is pretty sad and disappointing. I can say that the condition for me right now is the downhill. Everything is unsatisfying and unexpected. It might be due to my lack of discipline, laziness and do not have good time management. What I did for my public speaking this afternoon was not in my expectation. I was tense before that. I have dreamed I had done this public speaking assessment in my dream. I felt so tired, and my brain would explode when I woke up this morning. I was given the title to discuss the best ways to protect the environment, but I cannot talk well. Many points come to my mind, but when I want to start to speak, all the points cannot speak out due to my nervousness. Haih...I can't score a good grade for this subject already.

       Comes to an end for this blog post. What I want to express is no matter what you did, please don't compare yourself with others like what I did. I used to be unhappy and unsecured every day because I unconsciously compared myself with others. When I saw others did very well in the particular things and when I look back to myself...The things that came to my mind are "why I cannot do so well like them? Why I am so useless until small things also cannot be done well? why and why?". I cannot sleep so well because I can't control myself overthink about that! Too pity for me. Live like a slave. Min Yue, please stay strong and live in your own way and own lifestyle. Don't bother how people live in their way. Everyone is unique and different. I really wish you could live in your own style one day and not impact by others easily. I know you sure can do it. Believe in yourself, ok? I know it is tough, but there is a way when there is a will. Every cloud has a silver lining. You will succeed one day eventually!!😇💓

Back to Malacca & Sem 6 started

3 月 13日                                                   星期六                                                       晴天

        这一天，早上9时我自己驾车从我家出发回马六甲。 不过我的朋友志旺也有回，他驾自己的myvi跟随我得车尾一路回到马六甲。 一路都很顺没什么车，也许是因为CMCO不允许跨州。差不多3小时我们正要进Ayer Keroh Tol 的时候 竟然塞车。750m 外就开始塞了......一塞就塞了几个小时！！ 完全不会动！！ 差不多用了2小时半才到那个Tol 前面~ 可想而知是多么的夸张...那个Tol就在眼前却看着它很久都过不到！！ 差不多2.45终于过了Tol....哪里知道....前面6条lane 变成1条lane...又塞了一个小时才过了那个Police checking station....真的是累到无法形容。第一次驾了差不多6小时+的车程，而且我没吃到早午餐，饿到我已经没感觉了....

        然后拿东西给朋友和direct senior，才去已经租了的屋子。到那边的时候都差不多4点多了...然后开始搬自己东西和打扫房间和家里...弄到来都差不多6点多了。Then陪志旺去国铨的家搬他之前留在宿舍的东西。这是我第一次去国铨家，才知道原来他的家是在哪里 啊哈哈哈！蛮大间下~不错不错 我们都很饿了，所以直接去family mart买晚餐。我们都买了一样口味的便当，然后就回家梳洗。我们差不多8点多才吃我们的晚餐~真的是累到极点😵😵

        吃饱后，我们就各自会自己的房间休息了。这一天我蛮早睡觉，因为真的太累了撑不下去了。晚安世界😴😴

*现在住的家还可以，只是有些缺点就是它正对着10字路口，华人很pandang的，因为很有煞气会影响我们容易生病等等~ 不过不要想那么多，反正也是住几个月而已~~ 还要就是它的大门没得锁哦~哈哈哈 有点危险！还要就是没有WiFi~要自己买data用哦~哎

Last Sunday in My Home Sweet Home :(

        Today is Sunday, and this will be the last Sunday I spend in my lovely home before going back to Malacca. My feeling right now is kind of frustration, complexity and worried.

        

        Since last year's lockdown on 17 Mac, I have stayed in my hometown. It has been almost one year. I am unhappy when asked to go back to campus by the HEP for the coming new semester. 

         Actually, it is quite incompatible for me. Because I longed to go back to campus last semester, but now I really don't want to go back to campus. I am getting used to staying at home to have online learning even though it was so stressful. The pros of staying home are that you can save money, there is no need to worry about the meals, be more comfortable, etc. The cons will be loads of homework and distractions from neighbours or family members.

        So technically, I just left a few days before I left home. I really hope that everything will be going well and smoothly. I wish I would be strong enough to adapt to any situation, no matter how bad the situation is. It's time to grow up! Frankly, I am not young anymore. I can't escape from reality but have to learn to accept that life is sorrow. Hahhaha...It looks so deep.😗

       

        Haiya, don't talk about something that is not delightful. I just spent my afternoon time with my best friends. We had our lunch in Sushi Mentai Kampar. It was full, and /the food still can be acceptable. The rating will be 7/10. But unfortunately, the choice of food is lesser than what the shop that I went to before in Cheras. After finishing our lunch, we went to The Alley to have some boba milk tea. Siew Wen and I didn't order boba milk tea because we were so full, and my mum was cook dessert for me this morning. That's why I decided not to order so that I could drink that "Mak Chuk Tong Sui", also called wheat porridge dessert, once I arrived home. 

        I had eaten corn and Kuih Kapit, which contain peanuts inside. Also, Mak Chuk Tong Sui. After that, I cleaned up the whole house, but the upstairs was omitted. It takes me around 1 hour to sweep and mop the floor. Tired.......But to think positively, it is an exercise to let me sweat and might burn some calories as well😂 When I am done with the cleaning, I straight away take a bath because my mum has given me an order to glow incense sticks. Because my grandma went to Kampar to visit her brother and she cannot make it.

        At night, I followed my mum to her sister's house to attend a party—her daughter-in-law's son's 1st birthday🎉. There is a lot of food such as sushi from Sushi Mentai, mashed potatoes, cheezy wedges and fried chickens from KFC, fried sin chew mee hoon, fried rice, fried fishball, watermelon, and osmanthus jelly. The most important is the birthday cake! It's yummy and delicious! Do you know what the price of the cake is?? It was around RM 138😱 Is it make you surprised?! Hahahaha! I think it is pricey due to the decoration. And also, it is homemade and needs to be ordered in advance. 

        We back home at 9p.m.And the next thing will make you feel surprised. Do you guess what it is??😏I started to eat the second round when I got home. I ate the steamed taro cake which was made by my aunt. It tastes not bad, just it is thick and quite oily since she put so many fried onions on the top of it. After that, I still ate corn...FAT!!!!

        So this is how I spent my Sunday😇 Goodnight, the human.

Back to Blogger

        I'm back here after two years. I also don't know why I suddenly open back my blogger. It takes me some time to edit the layout and makes some changes. When I looked back at the statistics for my previous posts, I found that the view of the posts increased. (Maybe it is just an illusion, hahaha) To be honest, I was shocked. It is because I don't think others will know my blogger. Even my friends also don't know about it since I didn't mention it never and ever.

        Why did I start to write the blogger again? Actually, finding a place where I could express my emotion and all the negativity. Then, why blogger? There were many of my friends on other social media platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, Wechat, or WhatsApp, and I didn't want to let them worried about me or know about me too much. Stay mysterious...

       I feel very disappointed with my current semester result. My GPA has dropped so much compared to last semester. It was out of my expectation! I don't know how to describe those feelings. My friends scored very well in their final based on what I know. Most of their GPA/CGPA have increased so much. I think I am the only one who did very bad in the final. I realised that hard work doesn't pay off. You know, I have suffered during the final exam week. It was terrible and insecure. I totally cannot sleep well every day. I pretend like I don't care about the exam and don't study anything to calm my friends. 

        I taught my friend what I had understood on the topic he asked about. In the end, my grade for that subject was worse compared to theirs. Do you know how it feels? It is like you give everything and help them score better than yourself. I know I shouldn't have this kind of mind. Please forgive me. I hope I can do well in the coming new semester. Everything will be going fine, please. I really wanna give up already...

       To be frank, the course that I am studying right now is not what I want to study. The more I studied, the more I felt unhappy. I think that I am really not the piece of material to study engineering course. It takes me a few years to find out what course I like and which is suitable for me. The answer is the accounting or language course. I have wasted so much time. I am feeling wanna drop out of university...I cannot see my future, and it is a blackout there. I am feeling miserable and worried about my future. I don't even know whether I can graduate in 2022.

        I feel very sorry for my parents and brothers. My parents have given everything to me to make sure I live well. They didn't demand me to score all As in every exam. They always tell me that it is totally okay to try my best no matter what result I get. But I always have a mind that I must score very well so that they will feel proud of me. All of my brothers are smart, but I am stupid. They did well in their academics. For example, my big brother studied master's level in university and graduated a few years ago. My second brother, who currently works in Singapore, graduated with first-class honours in his previous university. My youngest brother, who lives in Japan, also graduated from master's level last year and now he works in Nissan company. I feel stressed because I am scared I cannot do well like they did. 

      People will say, " Min Yue, why your brother is all so smart, but you are not doing well?? eh Min Yue, why your brother can graduate successfully, but you are not?? Why???  (This might happen when I am not doing well) I remember those days when I was in primary school. One of my teachers told me that please behave like my three brothers. They are well-disciplined and hardworking. They didn't play so often like you. (I used to walk around in my village area every day after school) So now I will not feel stressed???

      But don't get me wrong. I didn't hate my brothers, but we were so close to each other in real. I love them and like to spend my time with them. Although we didn't see each other since last year CNY due to covid-19. But we still managed to video call.

        I think I have to stop here...hahaha....let's continue next time, yo! Bye!!👧

*Disclaimer: Sorry for my broken English😖